This Too, is my Story

 After all these years, I still feel a displacement of self, when it comes to who I am in Christ.

I too carry the pain of the loss of my family due to the choices I've made.

I left my childhood religion in 1994 and payed a high price.

I still pay the price of loss of mother and father and siblings...

I still carry my "cross"...

The Documentary Film

What happens when someone leaves behind family, friends, their acquired interpretations of "God"—the only world they have ever known? For many, it means an emotionally agonizing and dramatic transition into a once forbidden world.

Losing My Religion will be a soul-searching, interview-style film examining the realities, experiences, and exoduses of former members of the Jehovah's Witnesses and other high-control groups.

Watch the Trailer

Download the Brochure

Lost & Found

Lost & Found is an international charity that will provide life-transition services to those adversely affected by high-control religious groups. Lost & Found will offer empathetic and practical assistance with a goal toward self-empowerment. In the near future, we will provide confidential counseling and job placement to those associated and formerly associated with Jehovah's Witnesses.

Website Coming Soon

Please watch
http://www.losingmyreligionfilm.com/

up close and personal

I awoke this morn. at three am, feeling the "loss" of my mother, I took a few minutes to cry, trying to pull my self together.

I made a strong cup of coffee...still a no-no! seeing as how I'm so-pose to be on my detox program. I drank it back and hoped I would not muck things up too much, in my gastric intestinal system... me gut's.

I jump on the computer in search of ex-Jehovah's Witnesses, needing to communicate with some one who would understand my "loss." Alas I could find none, unless I joined some group belonging to some site...(Maybe I will one day) I've decided to blog instead, not knowing where this will take me.

I don't often cry over my "loss, " I use to, every day in fact numerous times a day, that's about 14 years ago. Today it hits me now and again, like when my ex mother in law passed away. I thought on my own mom, when shes gone...I mean really gone how will I be? Will I manage without her? Will I keel over with more pain? Who will help her? Will I be allowed to help?
 Or will it be easier seeing as how I've already "lost" her, and dad.

I ache for you mom, dad you don't even know. My heart bleeds and breaks.

I need you.

Hold me, as you used to, and I'll hold you back.

I wish I could tell you and dad how much I love you. I wish you could see my heart, you would know that I have not left God.

I can not beg you to see me or reach out to me any more, I'm too afraid of your answer.

I watched mom walk away with my sister arm in arm, I saw she put her head on moms shoulder, I cried behind your backs, you did not see my tears. I wished I had been on the other arm, the three of us as it should be.

Religion is a strange thing, even danderious... it can reek havoc in a persons life, it can do damage that can not be reversed...
the physic gets mucked about with, and you lose so much.

I am hoping this blog will be cathartic for me, and hoping to find a peace with in.